Battles

So I have a great life and Im happy......... but ............ alot of days are battles for me. This week.......battles. It all depends on my depression level. I work really hard at keeping my head up, refocusing my mind, counting my blessings, keeping myself busy, and refusing to let it control me.... but every so often it takes over. Depression is a strange mental illness. I wonder if a person can ever out grow it? :) Ha! Just wishful thinking! Earlier today as I was driving I couldnt control my tears and I tried to hide from other drivers... I was embarrassed...now, how weird is that! As if anyone would even notice! Weird weird. I just didnt want anyone to know I guess, even strangers. Ive talked about my depression before in an earlier blog, I dont remember what I wrote, nor do I care.... I dont want to look it up and make sure Im not repeating myself.... I just know that sometimes writing about it helps... So , welcome to a brief glimpse into my mind...As I was driving along crying off and on, I thought, I should call this person or that person and talk and I will feel better, then , no... I cant talk to anyone I dont have the energy, then I thought, I should go water my flowers because I love my flowers, that should help me feel better, then , no, I dont want to... I should go gather Bret and the boys and go to a movie that will make me feel better, no, I might see someone I know and I cant talk to people right now, I might cry...what I really should do is go read my scriptures, for sure that will make me feel better, ...no.. I dont have the energy, what I really want, is to take a sleeping pill, and sleep till tomorrow..and hope for a better day. So, there you go, thats a peek into about one full minute repeated over and over in my mind when Im not well. Instead of taking a sleeping pill I came home , fixed dinner, watched 'So you think you can dance'. (What a great show, I love it!) I guess I can go to bed now without taking the sleeping pill and see what tomorrow brings. Im planning on having a great day! :)

OUCH!

OHHHHHH IM STILL SOOOO SORE!!!! I cant believe how many muscles it takes to ride a tube one time half-way around Hryum Dam! I hurt eveywhere! LOL!

WIPEOUTS!!

Make a Smilebox slideshow

Hyrum Dam

I realize that my posts are all about boating lately, but ....that's what we've been doing! Besides, I have some great photos and the video to post! I was babysitting baby David for a few hours and so he went boating with us. He was such a good boy, and as you can see my Bryce LOVES him! Well, we all do, but Bryce hogs him! We were there for seven hours! We had pizza delivered for lunch and had a picnic on the boat. I rode in the mega bowl tube with Lindsey Riggs and we had a blast! We laughed our butts off! SO FUN! I'm brave to post a picture of us! I'm so sore today though that I can hardly move! OUCH OUCH OUCH! Amber was such a brave girl to get in the water! She even went for tiny little tube ride! That takes courage when you dont know how to swim!

Bear Lake

Last weekend we went to Bear Lake. As you can see in the photos, the water was absolutely beautiful! We had a great time knee boarding, wake boarding, and tubing! We stayed out on the water the whole day, only going to the condo to eat. Next time we may just pack a picnic lunch and stay out all day! :) It was way fun and also very relaxing! We purchased a couple more tubes this week that are bowl shaped and both can be pulled at the same time for bumping wars and stuff...they should be great fun! (Hopefully!) We shall see soon!

Fireworks, family and friends

We pull a red-neck move every fourth of July. We go early in the afternoon and lay out chairs and blankets to reserve our spot to watch the fireworks. We have learned that its necessary to do so in order to get the same place each year. We have gone to the same spot for at least the last nine years. Each year we have to go earlier and earlier because everyone else does...its gross! Lol! Its worth red-necking for the spot though, its a good one! Julie saved the spot last year and warned me to go at least by noon because they were getting filled early. Its true.....I did and they were! Anyway, we eat pizza, chat, toss a football around etc. We had a great time. There's just nothing better than spending a holiday with great friends and family!